老外尴尬表情包，尴尬当着老外的面吐槽她

今日话题

这年头，会说英语已经很常见了。

就连会说中文的老外，也已经不再稀奇了。

那么问题来了……

做和顾客打交道的工作，通常是比较辛苦繁琐的。这一点全世界都是如此。

在国外博客网站Tumblr上，还甚至有一个名叫“去你大爷的顾客”(f**K costumers)的页面，专供那些收银员、销售员、服务员……等等来吐槽遇到的各种顾客。

在这个“去你大爷的顾客”页面上，有一个这样的热门帖子，标题为：他们不知道我也会说中文！

帖子的作者，应该是一枚商店的收银员。全文不长，咱们来围观一下——

So I’m a white Caucasian female, but I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese and English. Now, looking at me, you wouldn’t know I can speak Mandarin, which is why I find it absolutely hysterical to mess with people when they come through my line speaking Chinese, and I understand every word their saying. My co workers find it especially hysterical.

我是个白人妹子，但我的普通话和英语都是倍儿棒的。是咯，如果只是看着我的脸，你可能根本不知道我会说普通话。所以啊，如果有人在我面前说中文——而且还自以为我听不懂——我就会迷之兴奋！因为我完全听得懂啊！我的同事也觉得这好有意思啊哈哈~

Okay, so the other day this Chinese couple came through my line, and I asked them (in english) all of the questions about the bags and if they had their rewards cards, all of that fun stuff.

所以，有一天，有对中国夫妇来到我的柜台，然后我用英语问了他们一些事项，比如（要买的）包包啦，如果有奖励卡（怎么优惠）啦，诸如此类的东西。

Anyway, I started ringing up their stuff, and the wife said to her husband “Tell her not to bruise the bananas” in Chinese, and i didn’t say anything. The wife said “tell the stupid girl to go faster” in mandarin. I smiled at her and pretended like I had no idea what she was saying.

好吧……然后我就开始把他们买的东西输入账单，这时候这个中国女人就开始用中文对她老公说：“告诉她不要搞坏香蕉！”不过这时我啥也没说。然后她又用普通话说道：“告诉这个蠢妹子，快一点！”我朝她笑了笑，假装不知道她在说啥。

She kept commenting on how my hair was like a boys (I have short hair, its honestly not even that short) and how her grandfather would have gone faster than I was going, all of this in chinese.

接着呢，这个女人又开始对我评头论足：我的头发像男生啦（我的头发是挺短的，但也没有男生那么短吧！），她爷爷的速度都比我要快啦……这些都是用中文说的。

and then, she said “make sure she doesn’t forget the water” in chinese, and I replied in English, “I won’t forget the water”

然后呢，她又用中文说，“确定她别把我们的水给忘了啊！”这时候我露招了——我用英语直接回答说：“我不会把水忘了的~”

And i watched with enjoyment as a look of sheer terror spread across her face, as she realized I understood everything she had said before. She just stood there with her mouth open and her husband said (in chinese) “This is why you shouldn’t trash talk employees while their standing right in front of you” And i replied (in english) “He’s right”

于是……我面带微笑地看着她脸上露出了恐惧，她知道刚才的bb我其实全听懂了嘛！她张着嘴呆站在那里，而她老公则用中文说，“看吧，这就是为啥当员工站在你面前时，你不能说他们坏话的原因。”而我则用英语应和道：“他说得没错~”

They paid, the husband apologized, and left. After they walked out the door my manager and co worker and I were laughing so hard, even though being a cashier sucks, it sometimes makes my day a little brighter when something like that happens.

然后，他们付完钱，老公道了个歉，他俩就走了。他们出门之后，我和经理同事们都笑疯了哈哈哈……虽然当收银员很糟糕，但偶尔有些这样的段子，会让我那天的心情都会好一些嗯~

好吧……说人家坏话被当场戳破，可以想象得到这枚中国妹纸有多尴尬了……

不管是因为家中有中国人，还是自己学了中文，总之……现在会说中文的老外，还真是越来越多了。

在网上，就有一些小伙伴分享过“身边老外突然开口说中文”的惊喜(xia)经历。

来感受一下……

我朋友说：“他碰到过外国人懂中文的事，已经有好几次了。”

他和朋友在麦当劳吃东西聊天，正说着湖南人的话题，因为朋友是湖南人，结果有个德国美女在边上插了一句，说：“我知道湖南人，很好，我看过一本书。”

我朋友当时吓得楞了好几秒，没回过神。

更强的是我一个印度同学，一次有人问他，“听说你会说中国话，是么？”

那印度人立刻用中国话说：“你有毛病么？你看不出我是印度人么？我不会讲中国话。”

我朋友在电梯里碰到一个老外.那老外衬衫上三个扣子没扣.我朋友就跟她朋友说：“那老外胸毛很性感”。

那老外立刻回以中文：“谢谢”。

和朋友在一家韩国餐馆吃饭，服务生有西瓜太郎一样的头发，被我们评论了半天。

n次之后，估计那人忍无可忍了，我们的炉子灭了，叫他给点火，那男人用标准的中文说“小心火，慢慢吃”，当时我们三个人疯了，愣是没听懂！

他又用英语说了一遍，我们才缓过神来，大惊！

……叫你嘀咕别人吧

在国外别随便说中文，否则后果可能不堪设想……(via viivbook)

不过话虽如此，对于会说中文这门公认的超难语言这件事，老外心里还是非常骄傲的。

这不，他们自己都在Quora网站上问了起来——

如果老外会说中文，中国人看到会是啥反应啊？能说的流利程度不同，反应也会不一样吗？(via Quora)

大多数人回答说，中国人对于能说中文的老外还是很欣喜哒！而且多半会鼓励对方：“你中文说得真好！”（哪怕其实说得稀烂

@Vincent Lassonde:

This weekend, I have been to Beijing in order to visit one of my good friends.

这周末，我去北京拜访一个好朋友。

He lives in Tongzhou district, which is not an area frequently visited by foreigners. However, it is still part of the capital.

他住通州，这里老外不多，但依然是首都的一部分。

After two years in China, my Chinese level is more than conversational. I can express relatively abstract concepts, even though I sometimes do some mistakes (pesky tones!).

我在中国已经待了两年，中文水平还不错，可以表达一些相对抽象的概念了，尽管有时会犯一些错误啦（音调什么的真讨厌！）。

After two days, he told me this: “I saw you in all over the place, and not a single person is indifferent when you speak in Chinese. The girls are giggling, the elders are listening to you and even the police officers are melting.”

两天后，朋友这样说：“我发现无论在哪里，只要你一说中文，周围的人就或多或少有些‘不淡定’了。妹纸们开始咯咯笑啦，老人也在听你说了啥啦，就连警察都开始融化啦~~”

警察都融化了……好可爱啊

@Mario Rossi：

As others pointed out the reaction initially is the same 你的中文很好 or along this line. As said it's completely indifferent your Chinese level. It matters only a foreigner face and something that comes out of your mouth vaguely resembling some Chinese words. The Chinese reaction is not really a surprise, is more a way to make you feel at ease, to encourage you to speak or just to acknowledge your attempt.

就像其他网友已经说过的，中国人的反应通常是说，“你的中文很好~”这类的啦。不过其实啊，这跟你的中文到底好不好没啥关系。只是因为你有一张老外的脸，又从嘴里说出了一些像中文词语的东西罢了。中国人对此的反应并不惊讶，他们更多的是想让你放松，鼓励你继续用中文说下去，或者至少对你愿意尝试说中文表达一种认可。

@Anna Bomby:

There is this running joke among foreigners in China:

在中国的老外之间流传着这样一个笑话：

-Chinese person: 你会说中国话吗？(can you speak Chinese?)

-me: 一点点 (a bit)

-Chinese person: 你的中文很好 (your Chinese is so good) *proceeds to speak 300 words per minute as if I was a native* → 然后开始用每分钟300个词的语速狂飙中文，仿佛站在他面前的我是个土生土长的中国人。

如今，学中文的歪果仁越来越多，把中文当成二外来学习的外国学生也是与日俱增。

当会中文变成老外找工作和升学的“制胜法宝”，当学中文变成了一种流行和时尚……

这还真让人有些小得意呢

你见过会说中文的老外吗？中文最好的是什么水平？欢迎留言分享讨论！

文：lanlan

图：网络

题图：David Woo